Thursday, February 23, 2006
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I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Are You Ga(me)?, 2:01 AM.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
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I'm yours: a phrase which i won't have the chance to say.
Perhaps you are the reason for my sleepless nights
Perhaps you are the light of my life.
Perhaps you are the only one whom i pay attention to
Perhaps you are the someone for me, whose taste is similar
Perhaps you are the reason that i'm prepared to give up anything.
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps..
Missing you right now. Don't have to return me anything, jus enjoy=)
Perhaps you are the reason for my sleepless nights
Perhaps you are the light of my life.
Perhaps you are the only one whom i pay attention to
Perhaps you are the someone for me, whose taste is similar
Perhaps you are the reason that i'm prepared to give up anything.
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps..
Missing you right now. Don't have to return me anything, jus enjoy=)
Are You Ga(me)?, 4:50 AM.
Monday, February 20, 2006
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I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"
I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed. The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store... I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.
She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the Spring thaw.
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"
I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed. The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store... I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.
She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the Spring thaw.
Are You Ga(me)?, 12:02 AM.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
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Jorge told me that phrase and i know it pretty well. Anyway, i'll openly say here that i'm not going to honour my father as he isn't my father and he will never be my father for the reason being he's too bastard a father to be qualified to be my father.
He bought dinner and made me pay $4 for it. A loving father.
He passed me stuff which he don't eat and assumes that i'm a rubbish bin. A caring father.
As the box was oily, i threw it away. That extra bastard wants to keep the oily container for God-knows-why and i'm forced to wash it. An interesting father.
He delibrately provoked me time and again to make me quarrel with him. A fatherly father.
Conclusion: I will return his "kindness" by being a very "filial" son to him. After all, that's what they want isn't it?
CASE CLOSED
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Besides that sickening incident, tha whole day was pretty much fine. The service in the morning set me thinking about many things related to God, his love and my righteousness through him. I'm going to work towards that.
BTW, i found a way to relieve stress..Thank you jorgey..haha:)
http://www.boneland.com/fish/fish-v3/index.html
He bought dinner and made me pay $4 for it. A loving father.
He passed me stuff which he don't eat and assumes that i'm a rubbish bin. A caring father.
As the box was oily, i threw it away. That extra bastard wants to keep the oily container for God-knows-why and i'm forced to wash it. An interesting father.
He delibrately provoked me time and again to make me quarrel with him. A fatherly father.
Conclusion: I will return his "kindness" by being a very "filial" son to him. After all, that's what they want isn't it?
CASE CLOSED
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Besides that sickening incident, tha whole day was pretty much fine. The service in the morning set me thinking about many things related to God, his love and my righteousness through him. I'm going to work towards that.
BTW, i found a way to relieve stress..Thank you jorgey..haha:)
http://www.boneland.com/fish/fish-v3/index.html
Are You Ga(me)?, 6:51 PM.
Monday, February 13, 2006
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The author is listening to: Simple plan - Welcome to my Life
I have always been wondering why i'm getting more patient with my folks. For example, though we shoot each other with phrases, i don't get angry. I just shoot for the sake of sending my point across. I want them to know my perception of the matter that we are arguing vehemently on.
Well, i have the answer now. It suddenly strucked me while i was having dinner and arguing at the same time. The problem here is, i don't keep my mouth shut at the right time. I politely told them to have dinner and that triggered the series of arguments. It's about me coming home late and not doing what i'm supposed to do at home. So, what are the things that i'm supposed to do? They believe it's sweeping the floor, ironing my clothes etc. I'm a student, does that falls under my job scope or a homemaker's?
I don't mind helping out a little if i'm free. The thing is, i am not! My folks believe that i'm very free just because i always hang out late outside for the past few days. I did my work outside. I just like to do my homework outside. Reason being my house is noisy, often filled with the yellings and screamings of the homemaker as well as the breadwinner.
They are too much. They crossed my boundaries today, simply throwing groundless accusations on me. There's just this urge to keep my mouth shut, move out and not talk to them forever. My dad was bathing when i quarrelled with my mum while having dinner. To my surprise, he came out of the bathroom 5 minutes later without yelling at me. He simply walked into the kitchen, grabbed a drink and left. I guess i hit the bull's eye.
I believe it's a fact that i'm not his child, why do i say so? Basically, he agreed to share the cost of my internet service since my brother is using. Now, he backed out since his old WIN98 pc doesn't meet the minimum requirements of the broadband service. What does it show? The second child is his and i'm not. Frankly, i'm not really bothered by this incident, it's just to prove the point i mentioned earlier.
Right now, he's trying to teach my sister to spell a few words. Teach as in, yelling at the child, instilling fear in the child, hoping to see results. Needless to say, he lost his temper and the poor little child is crying now. Why these people don't see the fact that a child cannot learn under harsh environment, constant fear and pressure? I'm not saying pressure is bad, but moderation is the key. Most importantly, i believe in giving a child a happy childhood for him/her to recount on when this child grows up into an adult.
Back to track, the reason why i am growing more patient with them. The reason is, i sympathize with them. They are still under the curse of the law -- adam's disobedience. Welcome to my life is a song by simple plan. Nice music, meaningful lyrics. I would have been sad listening to this song a year back, but hey, i'm not the old Nicholas anymore. Who cares about whether your family is for you now? All forms of evidences show that you aren't the most important to them. So what? Ya my question is so what?
Ok i'm a jerk. Piggy, i'm anticipating what are you going to tell me later. The conclusion of the entries. In any case, thanks for accompanying me to the fireworks show for 5 days, tolerating my nonsense throughout and carrying my bag though you were reluctant.
I have to work hand in hand with Jesus for a better future. I will be more determined dispite the lack of support from my family. Just to side track a little, don't i deserve a valentine for tomorow?
"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." Luke 10:19
Are You Ga(me)?, 9:16 PM.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
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Trying to blog now in the national library..
The authour is currently listening to Yang Cheng Ling -- Li Xiang Qing Ren
The original simile goes, as white as snow. Let me creatively come out with another, as white as dou jiang. I guess this song best describes the point of uncertainty which i'm going through. I promised myself not to consider, look or even think of you. However right at this very moment, i am thinking of you, picturing your facial expressions--your sweet smily, your silly look whenever you are teased. It is impossible for us i believe, unless a miracle does happens. Dou jiang is supposed to go with you tiao. Will you ever find the you tiao which fits you perfectly? If not, then turn your head around and look for me! doujiang, i'm here~ >.<
I really want to know, what kind of person will be your perfect partner.
The authour is currently listening to Yang Cheng Ling -- Li Xiang Qing Ren
The original simile goes, as white as snow. Let me creatively come out with another, as white as dou jiang. I guess this song best describes the point of uncertainty which i'm going through. I promised myself not to consider, look or even think of you. However right at this very moment, i am thinking of you, picturing your facial expressions--your sweet smily, your silly look whenever you are teased. It is impossible for us i believe, unless a miracle does happens. Dou jiang is supposed to go with you tiao. Will you ever find the you tiao which fits you perfectly? If not, then turn your head around and look for me! doujiang, i'm here~ >.<
I really want to know, what kind of person will be your perfect partner.
Are You Ga(me)?, 6:42 PM.
Monday, February 06, 2006
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sigh..I feel that i'm so cheap, so despo. ARGH! anyway, i really wanna get the V3i lor..but nobody wanna sign up for me. It's so sad right! Valentine's promotion wor, $598 for two phones, 2 yrs plan each. Cool man!
I went to watch "I not stupid too" with jeph ytd at some 30-yr old cinema. Did u guess it right? It's Lido theatre 7. The seat cushion is worn out, plus the chair rocks. The theatre stinks because of the people who smoke over the years in the cinema.
Back to topic, the New MOTOROLA V3i. The design is almost the same as the RAZR V3, but the functions are better, though can't be compared to my K750i, it's sleek, flat, stylo. Look here, the qualities of the phone are exactly similar to MINE! wahaha.. Jacklin says she wanna get PR, dun wanna sign for me..Alex also disagreed with my proposal of using his name for the line but my address for billing.
I'm actually in cultural class now. To Prof Zhang: U have my sympathy! even though no one wants to listen to your class, you try to make us interested with your ever BORING powerpoint presentation and your monotonous voice. Imagine one tiny man in front of the class trying to get attention of 50 people. Even if people are interested, they CAN'T SEE YOU! Pei's sitting beside me and she's trying to be interested in whatever he's lecturing. However, *as i can see*, she's sms-ing with her VINTAGE white 8210 now. Nice try.
Valentine's day is nearing. Will st valentine get someone to spend the special day with me? i've already spend 17 valentine's day alone. Don't wanna spend the 18th Vday alone woR!! >.<~
K lar, got to *sign off*..have to try to act interested in the course then perhaps he'll "guan zhao" me when i go over to ZUCC 2 yrs later. WAHAHA.. anw, i'm quite upset that someone is not gonna wait till my sch end. haah~ nevermind lar..pple got things to do..
another resolution: TRY TO B MORE UNDERSTANDING
I went to watch "I not stupid too" with jeph ytd at some 30-yr old cinema. Did u guess it right? It's Lido theatre 7. The seat cushion is worn out, plus the chair rocks. The theatre stinks because of the people who smoke over the years in the cinema.
Back to topic, the New MOTOROLA V3i. The design is almost the same as the RAZR V3, but the functions are better, though can't be compared to my K750i, it's sleek, flat, stylo. Look here, the qualities of the phone are exactly similar to MINE! wahaha.. Jacklin says she wanna get PR, dun wanna sign for me..Alex also disagreed with my proposal of using his name for the line but my address for billing.
I'm actually in cultural class now. To Prof Zhang: U have my sympathy! even though no one wants to listen to your class, you try to make us interested with your ever BORING powerpoint presentation and your monotonous voice. Imagine one tiny man in front of the class trying to get attention of 50 people. Even if people are interested, they CAN'T SEE YOU! Pei's sitting beside me and she's trying to be interested in whatever he's lecturing. However, *as i can see*, she's sms-ing with her VINTAGE white 8210 now. Nice try.
Valentine's day is nearing. Will st valentine get someone to spend the special day with me? i've already spend 17 valentine's day alone. Don't wanna spend the 18th Vday alone woR!! >.<~
K lar, got to *sign off*..have to try to act interested in the course then perhaps he'll "guan zhao" me when i go over to ZUCC 2 yrs later. WAHAHA.. anw, i'm quite upset that someone is not gonna wait till my sch end. haah~ nevermind lar..pple got things to do..
another resolution: TRY TO B MORE UNDERSTANDING
Are You Ga(me)?, 4:15 PM.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
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Wondering if i have the mood to type out a long blog. It's time for some reflection i guess, let's discuss it under different categories.
academic:
I really feel that my command of english is getting weaker and my eloquence decreased drastically. While writing the assessed jounal 2 for danny, i feel the strain i trying to express myself. Most importantly, no more "cheemalogy" words. I guess Lynette Liew will faint when she sees my article now.
relationship with friends:
it's still not that bad, but i'm sometimes appalled by the fact that i'm the last to know things which happened. Is it a kind of happiness not to know so many things? To those friends out there whom i seldom contact, you guys are still in my heart. Besides that, there're still nice people hanging around.
P.S. HUIYU, u know u owe me smth..u broke my sex band.. *LoL*
relationship with family:
A miracle happened! That guy at home actually talked to me in a very respectful manner. No more shouting, screaming, arguing. God, it should be your doing. Praise yoU! My little cousin is so cute, but poor thing lor. He has a mum who doesn't know how to take care of kids. They put him in a nanny's care, and will only bring him home during weekends. The main point is, HIS NANNY SUCKS! She don't even know hot to take care of babies, instead, try ways and means to hook him psychologically and physically, so that only SHE knows HIS style, and HE cannot leave her, and SHE won't lose the $800/mth job. What the FUCK! U bitch, stop doing that to my cousin.
relationship alone:
ok lar, there isn't much since i'm still SINGLE and AVAILABLE. So, anyone out there who's interested, grab me before the chance goes! Oh ya, is it wrong to commend a gal? I commended a girl from mass com, saying that she's pretty and hot. Pei and ting got so mad with me for the entire afternoon. Hey, it's only a commend lor, don't get so jealous! Wahahaha....
conclusion, it's a pretty good start for the brand new year. Thank you Jesus for everything. yeah!
haiz..i'm going to sch for another round of duty le, plus there's a CHEENA cultural concert tonight. Can't believe that i actually paid $14 to sleep. Take care guys. Hey xiao si, dun keep saying you don't have friends. They are there for u to discover. heh heh..can sms me anytime u want..HoHoHo merry christmas.
academic:
I really feel that my command of english is getting weaker and my eloquence decreased drastically. While writing the assessed jounal 2 for danny, i feel the strain i trying to express myself. Most importantly, no more "cheemalogy" words. I guess Lynette Liew will faint when she sees my article now.
relationship with friends:
it's still not that bad, but i'm sometimes appalled by the fact that i'm the last to know things which happened. Is it a kind of happiness not to know so many things? To those friends out there whom i seldom contact, you guys are still in my heart. Besides that, there're still nice people hanging around.
P.S. HUIYU, u know u owe me smth..u broke my sex band.. *LoL*
relationship with family:
A miracle happened! That guy at home actually talked to me in a very respectful manner. No more shouting, screaming, arguing. God, it should be your doing. Praise yoU! My little cousin is so cute, but poor thing lor. He has a mum who doesn't know how to take care of kids. They put him in a nanny's care, and will only bring him home during weekends. The main point is, HIS NANNY SUCKS! She don't even know hot to take care of babies, instead, try ways and means to hook him psychologically and physically, so that only SHE knows HIS style, and HE cannot leave her, and SHE won't lose the $800/mth job. What the FUCK! U bitch, stop doing that to my cousin.
relationship alone:
ok lar, there isn't much since i'm still SINGLE and AVAILABLE. So, anyone out there who's interested, grab me before the chance goes! Oh ya, is it wrong to commend a gal? I commended a girl from mass com, saying that she's pretty and hot. Pei and ting got so mad with me for the entire afternoon. Hey, it's only a commend lor, don't get so jealous! Wahahaha....
conclusion, it's a pretty good start for the brand new year. Thank you Jesus for everything. yeah!
haiz..i'm going to sch for another round of duty le, plus there's a CHEENA cultural concert tonight. Can't believe that i actually paid $14 to sleep. Take care guys. Hey xiao si, dun keep saying you don't have friends. They are there for u to discover. heh heh..can sms me anytime u want..HoHoHo merry christmas.
Are You Ga(me)?, 11:02 AM.
